Color Him Father by Lawrence M. Drake II

Author:Lawrence M. Drake II [Drake, Lawrence M. II]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Brown Girls Publishing
Published: 2019-06-02T16:00:00+00:00

We had a court order that I was forced to follow to the letter or risk jail, but my ex never honored it. There were still periods where she would keep me away from the children for months, even though I was supposed to see them every other weekend. It became a vicious cycle of me filing a complaint and then right before our court date, she’d call me and say, “Come and pick up your children.”

Every time she did that, I rushed to get my kids. No matter what I was going through or what was best from a legal standpoint. As far as I was concerned, there would never be a time when I would turn down an opportunity to be with my children. I never missed a visitation, not once.

We would often leave court and she’d repeat her hostility by keeping the kids away from me, that is … until I filed again. But I continued to fight. The harassment wasn’t going to stop me.

During one of the times when my ex allowed the children to visit with me, my son, David III, who by now was thirteen years old, came to me as I was sitting in my home office.

“Dad, can I come and live with you?” he asked.

I was not surprised by his request. The kids were getting old enough to understand that I was the more involved parent mainly because I knew they could tell I really loved being a parent… their parent. They would be upset about the fact that even though she wouldn’t let me see them, she continued to live her life without them, traveling for week-long vacations, even overseas, leaving the children behind with the housekeeper. She wouldn’t even let the children stay with me during those times; I knew they yearned, as all kids do, to be with one of their parents.

But even though I wanted them there with me more than anything, there was no way I could do what my son asked. The children were already being torn between us and it was becoming evident real damage was being done. All of them were seeing psychologists and I didn’t want any more pressure put on them. I didn’t want them drawn any further into our drama and that’s what would have happened if I attempted to file for custody.

I eventually told my son, “David, I know why you’re asking to come and live with me, but it’s not something I can do right now. You have to stay there, you have to be the man for your brother and your sister.”

It hurt me to say that, but I’d told him the truth. It was also hard for me to say that because at thirteen, we both knew it would have been far better for David to come and live with me than continue to live with his mother.

But despite David’s desire to live with me, he also had a huge heart; he loved his brother and sister and he knew that remaining with his mom would be best for them.

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